"Staying Positive"

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Be balanced in all you do; practice positivity; and happiness will follow.

If you approach your daily struggles from the point of view, "one can only do what one can and cannot be responsible for the behaviors of others"

Staying positive is difficult given what you are faced with daily.  If you approach your daily struggles from the point of view, "one can only do what one can and cannot be responsible for the behaviors of others" you will be more likely to keep your locus of control intact amidst the chaos, trauma, disappointments, etc.   

Internal Locus of Control is a psychology term which means one is able to have agency over their own mind and body despite the external or internal stimuli one may experience. 

True story

A person who weighs over 300 lbs (not proportionate regarding height and weight) says to a person who weighs 130 lbs (very proportionate regarding height and weight) "you are getting fat".  

The 130 lbs person could either internalize and begin to self loathe or they could be really angry with the 300 lbs person and verbally strike back.  If the 130 lbs person has a good sense of internal locus of control they will do neither.  They would realize the 300 lbs person's comment is projected thoughts about one self and inappropriate at best.   The verbal assault of an attempt to body shame someone else is a result of their own internal LOC being unbalanced. There could be many reasons for this, deeper than being overweight.   The comment is likely a result of this person exhibiting some self loathing and shame regarding their own body image and what they perceive others think of them.  

In any event, the 130 lbs person would not respond because they would not put a lot of weight to what that person.  Instead, they would look inward to determine their own thoughts regarding their body requirements, their image, and their own self esteem.  Their LOC would allow them to govern how they feel and react.  It will allow them to maintain their sense of self, regardless of the outside external stimuli.  Internal stimuli, or what is commonly called negative self talk, can impede upon our LOC.  When we have negative thoughts and we allow those negative thoughts to guide our actions this is an unbalanced LOC.  Think of LOC as your balance within your self.  If your balance is off kilter than your LOC is not where it should be, which usually leads to poor impulse control, poor decisions, negative thoughts, low self-esteem, projected onto others, etc.  

Life is not always about the brightest, the smartest, the prettiest, or most the intelligent. Life is about those who are able to persevere and withstand the trials and tribulations that everyday life will throw at you. How you persevere is based on how you personally respond to trials and trauma that you are faced with daily. This task is often difficult and daunting because you cannot control the external stimuli; however, when one is able to look at oneself and understand one's own role with regards to the troubles you are faced with then you can come out with a better understanding of how the situation is two-fold (part you-part other).

I realize staying positive in the midst of the "real stuff" we are presented with daily is hard.  However, when you are able to manage your Internal Locus of Control (keep your balance even) it will be easier to keep positive.  Positivity, just like negativity, can be catching and empowering to all who exhibit it and experience it from others.  Think of it like this, if the scale is tipped in either direction it is not balanced. So manage life; manage your activities even if they are postiive, this includes exercise, even a good thing can tilt your scale.  When you are able to balance your life it is easier to have LOC.  

If you have trouble staying positive or you believe your internal balance is off kilter then try:

1) exercising to reduce stress and improve your self-esteem

2) managing your work hours and work load to reduce stress and allow more free time for things you enjoy

3) finding a job that is a good match for your lifestyle and personality.

4) eating healthy so that you feel better physically and emotionally

5)using centering techniques , mindfuleness, or breathing exercises to assist with keeping your balance centered and reduce stress and anger; yoga is an excellent activity to assist with this.